I haven’t had a drop of Diet Pepsi since Friday. I’m drinking water like it’s going out of style, there are bottles and bottles of it in the fridge (along with a pitcher full of water), and I have an ENORMO can of Country Time Lemonade crystals to tap into if I really need variety. I haven’t had any headaches yet or any other particularly awful withdrawal symptoms. I’m just JONESING for a can of DP. I’m keeping the Gollum-like voices at bay, by the way, by keeping a single can of it in the fridge. If I can resist it, I’m golden. Somehow, it’s worse when there’s none in the house.

It’s amazing how many habits I have around DP, though. The first day (Friday/Saturday) was bad and the first day back to work (today) was equally bad. Tired when I get to work? DP. Coffee cart? DP. Lunch? You guessed it, DP. Bored (at work? never)? DP. Home from work? DP.

ARGH. Clearly, it wasn’t a healthy relationship. DP was my sustenance and my reward. My preciousss. But I wasn’t drinking very much water. At all. So here I sit. Halfway through my third (fourth?) litre of water today (plus lemonade at lunchtime), well-hydrated and probably feeling better overall. Still, somehow, I feel pissed off and deprived.

* * * * *

I enjoy the process of cooking. I enjoy the results of cooking.

I do not, however, enjoying cooking for myself.

I’ve been sitting here eating homemade oatmeal cookies for the past half hour, trying to figure out what to have for supper. Not cookies, obviously. What to have instead? Not so obvious.

I was going to make something with tomatoes (maybe pasta, maybe not) but that means opening a large can. Which would mean eating tomatoes again tomorrow. Who knows what I’ll want tomorrow??

Solo gourmets — how do you do it? Do you find it as hard as I do to prepare quick and interesting food? How do you motivate yourself to make something healthy? Starving minds want to know.