I have a love-hate relationship with shoes. Right now, I’m especially hating my sneakers. And, in fact, all of my shoes need to be replaced. I tend to favour one pair or the other and wear them right into the ground. It’s because I love them. And because I finally clued in that cheap, narrow shoes just aren’t compatible with my well-endowed, wide feet. Now that we’re coming into Spring, the every-day-for-all-occasions less-than-foxy winter boots have been put away and I now need to figure out how to dress my feet again. If I’m honest, I need to figure out how to dress my body again too but the feet are Priority #1. Starting with sneakers.

Last week’s epiphany: schedule time for exercise. I can make it to meetings with other people but I can’t commit to looking after myself. So I booked a meeting with myself and invited a small handful of people to join me for walks at lunch three days a week. It’s a standing appointment and the hope is that each of us will be able to make it at least twice a week. We went once last week and today was my second walk.

Thursday’s walk was agonizing. With the pain comes a lot of negative self talk. “Fat” is definitely the recurring theme, with room for specific comments about my lack of commitment to regular exercise (ignoring the fact that I am, in fact, out for a walk), good nutrition (I’m seeing a nutritionist and have committed to weekly appointments from now until May 31), etc. Thursday my lower back ached and my calves burned before we’d walked any distance at all. I stopped at one point because I was winded, but I think it was more that the pain my lower back was taking my breath away. Eventually, it loosened up and even my calves hurt less by the time we got back 50 minutes later.

Today, I stretched before going out, remembering to do the calf stretches my Pilates instructor recommended. Amazingly, the pain in my calves was even worse and I needed to stop again on the way back (we only went half as far this time; the trails are flooded) to try stretching them. Much like when I have pins and needles, stretching to relieve the pain was almost unbearable (I knew it would help but it took a lot to push myself through it). Walking again, I realized that the pain was related to the surface we were walking on; gravel was bad, sidewalks were worse and, surprisingly, walking on the grass was almost bearable. Wait a minute…

Lightbulb! It’s not me so much as the shoes (OK – it’s probably 50/50).

Here’s why: I’ve continued to think of my sneakers as new but the fact is that they’re four years old. They got a lot of action during the first six months or so but were used only sporadically after that. I lost track of the number of miles I put on them. The suckers are worn out and I’m 50 lbs heavier than I was when I bought them. No wonder I need new shoes. SO. Thursday is pay day. I’m going to go to the Running Room for a fitting, get myself a new pair of shoes if at all possible and, with any luck, I’ll be back in action on Friday at lunch. In the meantime, I’ve got Pilates on Wednesday and plan to walk home from work each night.